Tuesday, July 21, 2015

The JULY visit...quick summary

(self pic: dressed for CT Scan on Sunday)

The July visit was supposed to be short and sweet; it turned out to be long and bitter.

Sunday: Scans and Labs...and free valet
Monday: visit oncologist
Thursday: visit radiation oncologist


We caught the wave of CANCER in our faces on Monday morning.  Totally caught off-guard.  I don't know how though, because that is what we are doing there.  Looking for cancer.

Maybe caught off guard because we are at the check-up that looks at the chest and heart and previously radiated areas.  We even expected previously identified tumors to be growing.

But we didn't expect any NEW tumors.  (blind hope, i guess)

Yep, it's 2.9 cm, in the lung lining (pleura) on the back of his right lung.  Where he has been experiencing LOTS of shooting, intense pain. (the already poorly functioning one)

We drove home on Monday; frustrated, angry, fearful, contemplative, empty.

We had to wait until Thursday to get the second opinion from the radiation doctor.

Except that on Thursday morning, we got up LATE and had only enough time to get there in the nick of time, if there wasn't any traffic (IN HOUSTON). Late? really?  We wanted to leave at 8, after we fed the dogs and had our coffee.  We opened our eyes at 9:30!

We were one minute late...even with Bert driving!

The radiation doctor and the primary oncoclogist from Monday did a conference call to try to figure out what to tell us.

The verdict:

Yes, it's cancer, yes, we can treat it NOW.  B-U-T...

BUT, they recommend we wait.  

WAIT until September.  WAIT to see if this is the only one, or if there are more COMING.

WAIT to see if it is metastasizing, IF SO, we will see the activity by September.

WAIT to see if we can make the best treatment plan possible, with more information.

We drove home on Thursday, numb.

AND so now we WAIT... until September, mentally tallying how much time is left.  Vowing to: Make every day count.  Live every day as if it was the last. 

EXCEPT THAT he's tired.  and has no energy.  and uses all he's got just to get through each day.  and is fighting.  and is fighting hard.  and he's tired.  and has no energy.  

AND he's got me.  and his kids.  and his dogs/house/job/tumor growing inside him/death sentence to worry about.

AND YET...  every morning HE IS THANKFUL for another sunrise...because he's still winning the fight, loving, working, tired, bowling, exhausted, watching NASCAR, in pain, being loved, and LIVING!!!


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